Weddster

You might have been dreaming about your wedding day since you were a little girl, but did you ever stop to consider how you’re going to pay for it?

Your wedding budget is one of the first items on the wedding planning checklist, before finding a dress, venue or any other aspect. It’s vital that you know how much you have to spend in total, and well as what percentage will be allotted to each aspect of the wedding.

If either of your families plan on chipping in for wedding expenses, start by sitting down with them and discussing the budget. Your parents might not be willing to pay for the entire reception, but perhaps your mom wants to purchase your wedding gown for you, up to $2,500. Or maybe your groom’s favorite uncle wants to foot the bill for the open bar, just to make sure everyone has a good time. It’s traditional for families to pitch in for their children’s wedding, but don’t forget to show how grateful you are for the help.

Add these contributions toward what, if anything, you’re willing to contribute to the budget. There you have it: That’s your total budget. But is that number what you need?

Wedding costs vary greatly depending on the area. The average wedding cost a little over $20,000 in 2008 (and that’s a steal based on the average cost in 2007, which was a whopping $28,000), but that doesn’t mean that’s what you have to spend. Budgeting around $100 per guest is a good starting point. Since 50 percent of the budget typically goes to the catering/reception, that’s $50 alloted there, and then $50 that goes toward the rest of it, such as entertainment, the dress, transportation, etc.

As you can see from this equation, one of the easiest ways to cut costs is to cut the guest list. You can also prioritize your wedding budget to ensure the things that really matter to you really happen, whether it be an open bar or an amazing wedding cake. Things that might not be as important such as wedding favors or lavish flowers can receive less of the total budget.

Putting the budget on paper is really important. It cements it, making it harder for you to go over that magic number. Do some research for vendors in your area and what the typical breakdown is for a wedding budget. Whip out a piece of paper and a pen or open up a spreadsheet in Excel and start balancing the numbers. Once you get appropriate ratios, print it out and take it with you when you go shopping.

One of the hardest parts about the wedding budget is actually sticking to it. If you’ve budgeted $800 for a wedding dress and then fall in love with one that’s $1,200, it’s easy to say “oh, it’s only $400 difference. What’s the big deal?” But you have to think about where that $400 is coming from. Are you going to take it from your honeymoon budget? Or get a less-expensive photographer? If you want to go over in one area, you have to compromise in another.

If you’re planning on paying for a portion of the wedding, the final step of creating a wedding budget is savings. If possible, try to save 20 percent of your monthly income for the wedding. In a year, you could save thousands of dollars that could be applied toward the wedding costs.

Don’t get stranded at the ceremony – follow these transportation tips, and you’ll be riding in style.

• Know your options. Sure, there’s always a stretch limo to ride in, but there are plenty of other choices when it comes to transportation. There’s the standard town car, a stretch SUV, Hummer limos, party buses, a Rolls Royce – and that’s just the choices for automobiles. If you’re going a shorter distance, non-automobile options such as a horse-and-carriage or even a golf cart come into play.
• Who’s going? Do you need to provide transportation for all the guests, just the bridal party or solely the bride and groom? Naturally, that will dictate which options are realistic for you. It’s a nice touch to offer transportation for out-of-town guests who might not have a car available.
• Work out the budget. For the standard limo, expect to pay about $45-$60 per hour, plus gratuity, which is anywhere from 15 percent to 20 percent. For a typical 5-hour wedding, that’s about $250-$360. Be sure to check the bill for automatic gratuity before you add in that extra money. Those prices are just for standards limos, and don’t include any upgrades like a sunroof or Champagne.
• Speaking of Champagne … You can request extras such as Champagne (or another type of your favorite booze) from the car company. If you choose to not go that route, buy your own before the wedding and stash it in the vehicle. After the ceremony, you and your new spouse can have your first toast as a wedding couple in the privacy of your own automobile.
• Scale back. To keep transportation costs manageable, consider only getting a car for the newly wedded couple. A car that seats two will be much less expensive than one for 20. The bridal party can carpool to the reception site.
• Time it right. This is more about planning correctly than transportation, but you should be aware of the route to get to the reception and how long it takes. (Get in the car and drive it yourself, if possible, going at the same time and day of the week as your wedding will be.) If your ceremony ends at 4:30 and the reception begins at 5:30, but it only takes 20 minutes to head over, what will your guests do with that extra 40 minutes? Standing around outside the reception site gets boring after about 10 minutes.
• Anticipate parking problems. This is especially pertinent if you’re getting married in a city that’s notorious for problematic parking. The first rule of thumb is that your guests shouldn’t have to pay extra to attend your wedding, so making them pay for parking is in bad form. If possible, attempt to find free parking in the area (let guests know in advance if there will be a distance to walk) or figure out a way to validate parking vouchers.

You might also consider using a valet service (about $20-$25 per hour per attendant), which can cut down on parking problems. It’s also a nice luxury for guests, especially the women wearing stiletto heels. Non-valet attendants can also be helpful in directing traffic and answering parking questions.

In a dream world, wedding photography wouldn’t be subject to budget cuts. After all, it’s generally the only tangible memories of your wedding that you’ll still have after all is said and done. But good wedding photographers can be expensive, and really great wedding photographers can charge thousands of dollars. For a couple on a tight budget, that’s just not realistic.

Luckily, there are ways to find wedding photographers who will get the job done without charging an arm and a leg.

Do plenty of research. If you can, call dozens of photographers and get quotes from them all. This will give you leverage to negotiate with your favorites.

• Hire a photography student. If you have a local university with a photography department, you just might be in luck. College students are always looking for ways to earn extra money, and you might be surprised at the talent available. But spend extra time on the vetting process with these potential photographers. It’s likely they aren’t aware of the protocol that comes with shooting weddings. Make sure you have a standard contract drawn up and a list of expectations so everyone is on the same page.
• Post an ad on Craigslist. Let the photographers come to you. Post your wedding date, general location and what you’re willing to pay, and the photographers can decide if they want to do the work for that rate. As with photography students, make sure you see a lot of samples, call references and talk to them extensively before booking.
• Skip the pricey albums. These days, most photographers offer albums, scrapbooks or coffee table books in standard wedding packages. Do it a la carte and just get the photos and the rights to the images, then create your own albums for a lot less. This is only a good idea if you’re crafty and motivated enough to get it done yourself.
• Cut the photographer’s hours. Ask your bridesmaids to snap pictures while you’re getting ready in the early morning and just hire the photographer for the hour before the ceremony and beyond. You might be able to shave off some money for only booking for part of the day.
• Realize that wasting money is worse than spending too much money. If you cut back your budget too far, you risk hiring a horrible wedding photographer. Weeks after your wedding, when you finally receive the proofs, the last thing you want is to discover you threw away the money you paid the photographer because none of the photos are usable.

A wedding at home can be one of the best kinds – it’s personal and ripe for creative abilities. But it’s also a tricky process because most homes aren’t set up for the requirements of a wedding reception. If you’re interested in planning a wedding at home, take note of the 5 special needs before booking vendors.

• Is there space? This is the biggest concern. For even the most casual of weddings, you need ample room for your guests to move around. Naturally, a wedding at home doesn’t require a dozen eight-person tables, a dance floor or room for a DJ (Unless you want a traditional dinner and dancing reception). You might not even need an extra-large kitchen if you have a caterer willing to work with your circumstances. But you do need places for people to sit, as well as elbow room so they’re not too close for comfort.If you want a traditional wedding reception, but really desire to include your childhood home in the wedding somehow, then consider just holding the ceremony there and then moving to another location for the reception. You can also hold a separate, smaller wedding event there such as the rehearsal dinner or a post-wedding brunch.

• Is there parking? The problem with most residential areas is that there isn’t enough parking for 100 people or more. If there’s a large parking lot down the street, say at a major grocery store or a shopping mall, direct traffic there, and then rent a shuttle to bring guests to and from their cars. (Check with proper authorities first to ensure no one gets their car towed or ticketed.)

• Can the caterer cook? Making and serving a meal for the traditional number of wedding guests requires professional-grade kitchen equipment. If you don’t have it – and let’s face it, how many people do? – your cater will be in a bind. Depending on the meal, the caterer might be able to make it in another location and then transfer it to your home. In certain situations, though, he or she might bring equipment with that – and that requires space and money.

• Is there room in the budget for rentals? Before really committing to the idea of a wedding at home, sit down and make a list of everything that needs to be rented. Your list might include some of the following:
  • Glassware of all varieties (drinking, wine, martini, coffee cups and so on)
  • Dinner plates
  • Utensils
  • Linens
  • Chairs
  • Tables
  • Dance floor
  • Sound system
  • Tent
  • Lighting

• What about staff? Servers and bartenders usually come with the venue, but for a wedding at home, you’ll have to hire them yourself. (Check with the caterer though, as they sometimes have a staff for hire.) Rather than putting out a call on the Internet though, go through a reputable company that has thoroughly vetted their employees. After all, these servers will be in your home, and you don’t want your grandmother’s silver to go missing during the toasts.

Do you know any other important things to remember for a wedding at home? Let us know and leave a comment.

Planning a bridal shower for your favorite bride? Get the lowdown on the pre-wedding fiesta.

Who organizes this shin-dig?

Since you’re reading this article, it’s probably you. So what role do you fill? Maid of honor, bridesmaid, sister, mother, aunt, loving friend? You name it, she can host it. It’s traditionally given by the maid of honor, but the notion that the bride’s immediate family can’t host the reception has fallen by the wayside. (It was thought that it looked too much the bride was asking for gifts through her family).

When should it happen?

There’s no set time schedule, but three weeks to two months before the wedding is probably the best time. It’s close enough to the wedding that everyone is gearing up for the big day, but far enough away that it’s not going to clash with other important happenings.

Where should it happen?

How much do you want to spend? You can rent out a room at a local restaurant, host it at your church or even at your home (or the home of someone else close to the bride). Naturally, renting out a room outside the home will cost the most money, but it also means that you don’t have to worry about dreaming up (or cooking) a meal for the guests.

How much should we spend on this?

It’s going to depend on the number of guests, the type of food and drink served and where the shower is held. Keep the costs down by serving less expensive finger foods and hosting the party at home. If you have a bigger budget to work with, you have more options to splurge.

The maid of honor doesn’t necessarily have to pay for the entire shower herself. It’s perfectly acceptable for her to ask other members of the bridal party or the parents of the bride to help out with the cost, even if it’s asking someone else to pick up the cake from the bakery.

The timing of the day will have an effect on the budget, too. If you host the shower around a regular mealtime, guests will rightfully expect to fed a meal. If you host it anytime after 4 p.m., it’s more likely you’ll serve cocktails. For the lowest budget, host the shower in the mid-afternoon, around 3 p.m., when you can get away with snacks and nonalcoholic beverages.

Who do we invite?

Think about who the bride would want at her shower: Her bridesmaids, her mother/sisters/aunts, and her girlfriends. You might want to include female coworkers. Anyone who is invited to the bridal shower must be invited to the actual wedding, so it’s best if you pick off the wedding’s guest list.

Do we need a theme?

For any, the bridal/wedding theme is good enough. It’s a lot of fun and add much more personality to the shower if a theme is added, though. Consider these themes:

• Luau
• Naughty-and-nice
• Stock the kitchen
• Casino night
• Cocktail party
• Tea party

Some bridal shower themes, such as the “stock the kitchen” theme, really only applies to the gifts brought by the guests. Others offer opportunities to customize the invitations, food, drink and games.

What about the invitations?

You can pick up invitations at the store and fill in the information, design your own on the computer or order them from an online retailer. Send them out at least three weeks before the event so guests have appropriate time to plan.

On the invitation, it should clearly state the hostess’ name and phone number, the name of the bride, the date and time, the location, the RSVP date and phone number, the shower theme and registry information. If the shower is a surprise, state it in BOLD lettering. Don’t expect guests to just know that the shower will be a surprise, and it just takes one errant remark to ruin the whole secret.

As with everything else for wedding, there’s a “proper” way to seat people at a wedding ceremony. Get the low-down on how to make seating go smoothly.

• Choose ushers prior to the wedding ceremony. An usher is a smaller player when it comes to the bridal party, but it’s still a title of honor. Ushers are usually men, but there’s no rule that says they have to be. Their basic duty is to make sure everyone is seated in comfort and perhaps hand out programs or bubbles. In general, plan for one usher for every 50 guests.

If you don’t have anyone special in mind for ushers, it’s relatively common for groomsmen to perform usher duties prior to the start of the wedding ceremony. At some point, though, they have to head up to the front of the venue, so it’s a good idea to have at least one usher dedicated to seating duties to ensure late-comers know where they’re going.

• Choose sides – or not. Traditionally, the bride’s family and friends sit on the left side and the groom’s on the right. (If you forget, just think about who stands on the left and right up at the altar.) But there’s not really any basis for seating people on different sides. In fact, if one side has invited more people than the other, you might want to spread everyone out evenly so it doesn’t look lopsided. Ushers can ask guests if they have a preference on which side to sit. If not, just give them the best view possible.

• Who goes up front? The answer to this is easy – at the wedding reception, the first few rows are typically reserved for family members (immediate family right up front, extended family just behind them). If you’re concerned about other guests taking those seats, rope them off or place “reserved” signs on the chairs.

• Elderly guests should also be up close for maximum viewing potential.

• Seat the immediate family last. Once the ushers start moving the immediate family down, it signals to the guests that the ceremony is about to begin. You can even choose a special song to play while the family is being seated. Immediate family includes the grandparents, parents and siblings of the bride and groom.

The mother of the groom is seated second-to-last, followed by the mother-of-the bride. While the ushers can seat the mothers, it is often done by their sons (a brother of the bride or groom) or even by the groom himself before he heads up to the front of the wedding ceremony.

So you have any other ideas for or experiences with wedding ceremony seating? Let us know and leave a comment.

As the wedding approaches, it’s appropriate to give each of your bridesmaids a gift of thanks for standing by you on your special day. While it’s not required, your maids will appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity in picking out a gift, especially if you really take her personality into mind.

Some people claim each bridesmaid should get an identical gift. While there’s no harm in choosing a one-size-fits-all present, the thought before the gift means a lot more if you personalize it for each girl. The maid of honor’s gift often is a little bit bigger because she probably put more effort and money into planning and pulling off the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Before you buy the presents, think about each bridesmaid’s personality and what sort of things she does in her spare time. Take inspiration from that.

The bridesmaid gifts are usually handed out at the rehearsal dinner, right after the bride and groom give their speeches thanking everyone for being a part of their special day. Here are some of our ideas for personalized bridesmaid gifts:

Gift choices for the restaurant critic

• Gift certificate to a unique restaurant in the area
• Membership to a wine or coffee of the month club

Gift choices for the single gal

• All the accoutrements for a girl’s cocktail: liquor, martini glasses, pink cocktail napkins
• A beaded clutch just big enough to holder her ID, phone and lipstick
• A new pair of dancing shoes

Gift choices for the cook

• An adorable apron
• A set of high-end ingredients, such as spices or sauces
• Vintage (or vintage-looking) martini shaker

Gift choices for the accessorizer

• Fun, colorful earrings and/or a matching necklace
• Sexy new pair of shoes
• A hand-knitted scarf, made with love

Gift choices for a spa-lover

• Plush, fluffy robe
• Gift certificate for a manicure or pedicure
• A facial, massage or other luxurious spa treatment
• Delicious-smelling set of candles

Gift choices for the traveler

• Personalized luggage tags
• A quality carry-on tote

Gift choices for the memory-maker

• A set of scrapbooking supplies
• Beautiful picture frame

Gift choices for the beach/pool bunny

• Jewel-crusted flip-flops
• High-end sunglasses
• Colorful printed beach towel

Gift choices for the fitness buff

• New workout clothing
• A Nike+ or running accessory
• Headphones designed for exercising
• Gift certificate for aerobics classes at a local studio