Bridal shower basics
Planning a bridal shower for your favorite bride? Get the lowdown on the pre-wedding fiesta.
Who organizes this shin-dig?
Since you’re reading this article, it’s probably you. So what role do you fill? Maid of honor, bridesmaid, sister, mother, aunt, loving friend? You name it, she can host it. It’s traditionally given by the maid of honor, but the notion that the bride’s immediate family can’t host the reception has fallen by the wayside. (It was thought that it looked too much the bride was asking for gifts through her family).
When should it happen?
There’s no set time schedule, but three weeks to two months before the wedding is probably the best time. It’s close enough to the wedding that everyone is gearing up for the big day, but far enough away that it’s not going to clash with other important happenings.
Where should it happen?
How much do you want to spend? You can rent out a room at a local restaurant, host it at your church or even at your home (or the home of someone else close to the bride). Naturally, renting out a room outside the home will cost the most money, but it also means that you don’t have to worry about dreaming up (or cooking) a meal for the guests.
How much should we spend on this?
It’s going to depend on the number of guests, the type of food and drink served and where the shower is held. Keep the costs down by serving less expensive finger foods and hosting the party at home. If you have a bigger budget to work with, you have more options to splurge.
The maid of honor doesn’t necessarily have to pay for the entire shower herself. It’s perfectly acceptable for her to ask other members of the bridal party or the parents of the bride to help out with the cost, even if it’s asking someone else to pick up the cake from the bakery.
The timing of the day will have an effect on the budget, too. If you host the shower around a regular mealtime, guests will rightfully expect to fed a meal. If you host it anytime after 4 p.m., it’s more likely you’ll serve cocktails. For the lowest budget, host the shower in the mid-afternoon, around 3 p.m., when you can get away with snacks and nonalcoholic beverages.
Who do we invite?
Think about who the bride would want at her shower: Her bridesmaids, her mother/sisters/aunts, and her girlfriends. You might want to include female coworkers. Anyone who is invited to the bridal shower must be invited to the actual wedding, so it’s best if you pick off the wedding’s guest list.
Do we need a theme?
For any, the bridal/wedding theme is good enough. It’s a lot of fun and add much more personality to the shower if a theme is added, though. Consider these themes:
- Luau
- Naughty-and-nice
- Stock the kitchen
- Casino night
- Cocktail party
- Tea party
Some bridal shower themes, such as the “stock the kitchen” theme, really only applies to the gifts brought by the guests. Others offer opportunities to customize the invitations, food, drink and games.
What about the invitations?
You can pick up invitations at the store and fill in the information, design your own on the computer or order them from an online retailer. Send them out at least three weeks before the event so guests have appropriate time to plan.
On the invitation, it should clearly state the hostess’ name and phone number, the name of the bride, the date and time, the location, the RSVP date and phone number, the shower theme and registry information. If the shower is a surprise, state it in BOLD lettering. Don’t expect guests to just know that the shower will be a surprise, and it just takes one errant remark to ruin the whole secret.
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